My heart is still in Ethiopia!!

Released and set FREE

News Flash to Anne!!!

It was actually "ME" that was living the lie! ME! And here I was blaming the other for living a lie!

It was ME trying desperately to make something be ...a LIFE I wanted.....but it did not or could not be.

I wanted to be loved, cherished, valued, treasured......I wanted a partner, team player, united front, equal yoking. I tried and tried and tried to create the perfect atmosphere, the right setting, an environment that was surely set up for success. I organized, directed, planned, scheduled.....I manipulated, controled, orchestrated events to LOOK like everything was working! I prayed, fasted, meditated, believed....all with hopes of "making this work". But it wasn't going to work because my heart was being unfaithful all along.....unfaithful to my "First Love".

You see.....Jesus was my First Love. I had committed to following Him, trusting Him, serving Him as a young woman. I had plans and dreams of one day being a missionary or a pastors wife....serving the Lord! But something.....someone.... got in the way. And I felt obligated to this "other one"...... like an idol calling out to be worshiped and adored. And because I did not yet know how to trust myself, my own voice or the voice of the Spirit speaking to me, my heart turned away from my First Love to follow this "love".

In hindsight, I did hear a still small voice.....deep down in the depth of my soul....and the voice was saying NO. But my mouth said YES.....and I resigned to what I thought must "be". So for 25 some years, I acted out the part I believed I was to play. But now.....27 years later, I am listening! And I am saying YES to my first love and NO to anything that would defile me...or lead me away from Him.....or hurt or betray Him....or hurt me.

It is God's grace, unearned and unmerited, that is allowing me to be free....truly free for the first time in my life! Free from a burden that I have carried for years. Free from the shame I felt for not saying NO. Free from the guilt of not being able to "fix it". And finally free to truly LOVE and free to receive LOVE! His love!

I am so very humbled that God would give me this gift of FREEDOM.... and still very contemplative about why? But am I to question the ways of God? Can He not take this piece of clay and do what He wills with it? Can He not fashion it into something better than I could have ever "created" on my own? I believe HE can, and I am seeing that He is!!

By removing the "old yoke", the heavy burden I was carrying; by releasing me from the "rules and regulations and laws" I even designed for myself; by setting me free from my lies I was telling myself....I can now fly and soar and breath and live in complete abandon to my King!

My eyes were always looking at the other's short falls, because I could not look at myself. I had to hide behind the failures of the other because I lacked confidence in myself. My worth was all wrapped up in this relationship! And how "well" this relationship was going determined my well being, worth and value.

But God has seen fit to remove me from this relationship. God has seen fit to finally release me and set me free. "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." 1 Corinthians 7:15

THE FOLLOWING PROMISES ARE FROM MY LOVING FATHER!! HE HAS STAMPED THESE ON MY HEART; TO HOLD ONTO, TO CLING TO, TO REMIND ME OF HIS LOVE FOR ME!!!

* "The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from her; they are a burden and a reproach to her. At that time I will deal with all who oppressed her...... I will give her praise and honor in every land where she was put to shame. At that time I will gather her; at that time I will bring her home. I will give her honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore her fortunes before her very eyes. " Zephaniah 3:18-20

* "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. In that day, declares the Lord, she will call Me "her husband"; she will no longer call Me "my master". I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; no longer will their names be invoked.....I will betroth her to Me forever; I will betroth her in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth her in faithfulness and she will acknowledge the Lord." Hosea 2:14-17

* "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is His name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit - a wife who married young only to be rejected," says your God. "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the Lord your Redeemer." Isaiah 54:4-8

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"..you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of spendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah (meaning "my delight is in her") and your land Beulah ("bride"); for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." Isaiah 62:2-5

THANK You Father! I love you!! THANK YOU JESUS!! Thank you for loving me!! ♥♥♥ I am going to live for YOU!