Wait a minute!

What am I doing??
I am not the one who is to rescue us.
Why do I do this?
And the really screwed thing is that my husband allows it! He doesn't EVER go over the top or go the extra mile to make things happen. Why should I?
He is lazy and selfish and vain!
He is headed for disaster and I will not let him take me with him!!
I feel SO STUPID thinking things were actually getting better.
But they aren't...not with him, at least. He is still 'ol Ron and will never change.
I am back at this place where I don't want to live with "dear 'ol Ron". I'm done with Mr. "Nice GUy"...he really isn't that nice. He is passive and manipulative and hurtful!
What does he do for me? Nothing! Everything he does do, is for his own benefit.
I want to be LOVED, CHERISHED, UNITED.......he can't nor won't ever be able to treat me the way I am created to be treated because he refuses to submit to Christ. He won't be able to be the man I need with out Christ.
OOHHH I am so mad at myself for falling for this AGAIN!
I want to get off this merry-go-round!

A moment to reflect....

Finally..... have a moment to reflect!
With working more than full time for the past few weeks; training at The Gardens, my new weekend job, plus helping out at Sammamish Escrow, I haven't had any time to think, clear my head, reflect or ponder!
What am I doing working 7 days a week?
Why are feelings of resentment coming up again?
I'm frustrated with myself that I'm not setting any boundaries.
I miss taking my walks, being available for Jaycob, cleaning house, spending time with my friends.
And my resentment is towards Ron because he just wants the money and the freedom of not having me around.
Father, I need Your grace and direction. I need to reevaluate....guide me and help me be confident and secure in my decisions.